Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sunday Funnies!

I've been thinking for a while about starting something on my blog for funny stuff that I want to share. I'm the type of person that likes to share things that make me smile. So from now on I will try to find one or two funnies to share with you every Sunday. Feel free to use the funny stuff however you wish. Most of it will be things I got in an email or something like that. :)

So here is this weeks funny:

With time, we gain weight because we accumulate so much information

And wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room, it

Distributes out to the rest of our bodies.

So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy.

Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think,

¨Good grief, look how smart I am!¨
Words to live by:

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is probably not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably a wise investment.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.


a King's daughter said...

Bravo! Thanks for making me laugh!

Ashley W. said...

Hahahaha LOL. That was really funny. I was thinking about doing something like this myself. I guess great minds think a like;~D
Have a great week Carman,

Julie Ferwerda said...

Hey Carman,

Would you like to participate in a blog tour for a newly released inspirational book for Christian families? One Million Arrows: Raising Your Children to Change the World casts a vision for families of what's possible when they engage in the Great Commission using God-given resources and talents. Though somewhat aimed at parents, it is inspiring for younger members of the family as it features many young people who are currently changing the world for Christ in big or small ways by using their talents.

Ministry leaders like Josh McDowell, Dennis Rainey, Franklin Graham, Ron Luce, and many other recognized names have endorsed it.

What's in it for you?

•You get a free copy of the book that will hopefully be a great inspiration to you and your family

•You help support the care and ministry to international orphans (ALL profits from the book go to international orphan ministries and the message emphasizes investment in orphaned children worldwide who are being raised and discipled to change their countries for Christ)

•You help encourage others by getting the word out to them about the book (it's inspirational and encouraging)

Also, I'll be doing an exciting give-away including some Amazon gift certificates, free books, and paper bead necklaces from one of our websites orphan-"arrows" in Uganda.

If you would like to participate, please let me know as soon as possible. In fact, several young people have signed up to be a part of this promotion! The blog tour is scheduled for the week of March 1 and I will send your free review copy if you want to participate. I will also offer completed book review text for the blog tour if you don't want to have to write up your own.

One other thing you might be interested in...we feature a young person (0-25) anywhere around the world who is making a difference for Christ. If you or any of your friends want to submit a testimony, we'd love to consider it. You can find the testimony's of young people linked from our homepage on the right side. Just check out the archives to read inspiring stories of other young people.

Thanks so much for your consideration.

Julie Ferwerda
P.S. I offer lots of teen articles on my personal website.